Wednesday, August 8, 2012
16 days and counting.. Actually, I'm not counting days. I never was. I live in the moment.
A very good friend of mine celebrated her birthday yesterday.
"Don't leave to England", someone said to me, followed by a hug. Then it hit me.
I've been really busy all summer, so I haven't really had time to think about anything. I feel like this wave of panic is slowly creeping on me, and I don't like it. I've never been the "nervous-type", but this time I feel really scared. I don't think I've ever been this frightened about anything. It's not that I'm scared of new environments, languages or new people. No. I'm scared about leaving everything I have here behind. I'm scared that if I leave, people might forget me. That my friends and I won't be as tight as we used to be when I come back. That there won't be a place for me here anymore. I know that this probably isn't the case, but hey, everyone's afraid of something.. right?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all! I'm so happy that I get to see England, explore a new culture and meet lots of new people. I'm excited about taking courses that I never imagined taking and maybe finding a new hobby. I'm looking forward to sitting in my new favorite cafe, drinking some really good coffee and enjoying a great book or drawing. I know that some of my friends would've wanted to take the same adventure that I'm about to, but didn't have the chance to do that.
This was me opening up to you, letting it all out(or at least some of it). I wanted to get this out of my system for a while at least. Thank you for reading, the next post won't be this moody. I promise.